From A "Good" Girl

You look at me and you see a “good” girl. You size me up, from the way I talk, to how I dress, even my mannerisms, and from that alone you come to a single adjective. As if that is the sole distinctive thing about me. As if you could know absolutely everything there is to know about a person with a solitary phrase.  The words slide off your tongue “you’re a good girl,” snarkily. You've found one defining thing about me, and to you, it’s drowning in negativity. You stamp this label on my forehead and then you sneer at me.

                                                                                                   I’m a good girl. 

What does that even mean? I follow the rules? I’m “innocent?” By using this phrase you continue to add to the girl on girl culture. That there are good girls and bad girls. That some girls are tame and some are wild. That some girls do what should be done and some girls don’t take no for answer. The media feeds off of the stereotypes, and so does the rest of society. Every TV show I’ve seen has had one stereotypical “good” girl. The mean girls are especially nasty to her and the cute guys just want to get in her pants. And they’re all the same. They’re exquisitely attractive, they’ve never had a boyfriend, they follow the rules and they’re self-conscious. But. magically, a boy solves all of this for her. By the end, she has friends, a boyfriend and the mean girls leave her be. What a happy ending.

As a result, society has branded us ”good” girls. Because I do this or that, or I don’t do this or that I fit into a certain category. I am shoved into a box and you point out everything about me that restricts me to this particular characteristic. And you know what? I’m TIRED of it. I am not one dimensional. You don’t get to look at me and decide who I am. You take one glance in my direction and you assume, because you have given into what society has taught you.

There are so many standards when it comes to being a woman. Don’t be a slut, but don’t be a prude.  Have fun, but watch what you’re wearing, saying and doing. Make a career for yourself, but get married, have children and run your entire household at the same time. Enjoy being single, but give that guy a chance you never know if anyone will come around again. There are two options: get married or end up a lonely old cat lady. Choose the right one. Women deserve more than your stereotypes, your bias and your judgement. We are a powerful force to be reckoned with and you can’t hold us back with your ignorance.

I am more than a “good” girl. 

I am a writer. I am a dancer. I am a creative. I am a woman. I am a human being. You can’t use a single word to encapsulate who I am. I am a myriad of adjectives mixed together. I am a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. It is not up to anyone but me to proclaim who I am or what I represent. You don’t get the final say, I do. 

                                                        Never forget the essence of your spark!