To the deceased characters of Grey's Anatomy,
I wanted to take this time to reach out and express my deepest apologies. You see, I've been a fan of this show for a few years and, as I do with most stories, I ended up falling in love with the characters. I was introduced to a young man who, at the beginning, had a lot of growing to do in order to become a stellar doctor, a woman who just wanted to be loved by her estranged sister, and a womanizer who learned what the meaning of love and sacrifice truly is. I was devastated when you all suffered tragically. It hurts, even more so now than ever before upon the death of one of the most beloved characters: McDreamy. I was always at loss for the reason behind these past traumatic ends but this particular death brings back all those feelings of horror at the way in which your stories ended.
I've been thinking a lot lately: about my future, about my friends, about work, life in general. I've learned I have this fantasy for my life. One where the people I've come to admire and look up to are asking how I've managed to make something of myself. It's like that quote "work so hard that your idols become your rivals." I love that idea, not necessarily being rivals but achieving success that equals or even surpasses theirs. I want to take myself far enough that the people that inspire me want to meet me. That the people I've looked to for guidance know my name and are inspired by me. Maybe it's partially because we all dream of being BFF's with our role models, but it's more so that I want to impact the world in an extraordinary way. I want to leave behind a legacy, which I'm sure isn't too far from the mindset of many people in my position. I truly do want to make a difference in any way I can. It feels right to me. It feels like it's something I was called to do. I was meant for it.
Being as I've been single for my entire life, at this point it would be safe for you to assume that my standards are higher than the Eiffel tower (probably even higher). Right now the only relationship I'm focusing on and trying to mend is the one with myself. With that being said however that doesn't mean I don't think about the future. That doesn't mean I don't have expectations and that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the impending disappointments. I'm learning to hold my happiness and the success of my future very highly and I do hope that someday I will have someone to share that with. This is a letter to my future best friend. This is a letter to tell you, if you're reading this, what it is I need from you.
"If you wait until you're ready you'll be waiting forever." The mere idea of being ready is a figment of the imagination. One is never ready for anything. You can’t prepare, life just happens. It’s more of a matter of learning to become comfortable with the unexpected. Because to be honest that’s how it is. There’s no such thing as a psychic. No one can tell you exactly how things will work out because the universe has a mind of it’s own. Something can be going in one direction for miles and then out of nowhere take a sharp turn and crash into a building.
It's that time of year again and I may possibly be one of the few people that actually enjoys Valentine's Day. Why wallow in self pity over being single when you could be embracing it? It's not all about romantic love. Focus on your friends, focus on your famiy, focus on YOU. Who knows you better than you? Buy yourself treats bake yourself treats! Why not relish in all the lovey dovey-ness of the day?
As I was falling asleep last night I reminisced at how marvelous this Christmas truly was. After all the stress over buying the best presents; getting frustrated over all the long lines in every store with last minute shoppers; hurrying to get the house clean, decorating and getting prepared this year was probably my favorite. While the time leading up to the Christmas celebrations are all materialistic the day really felt like a family day for me. I have a big family and we're all at different points in our lives so we tend to clash. I noticed, however, that when it all boils down it's who you're surrounded by on special days like Christmas. We have our disagreements but I've never felt as close with my siblings as I did yesterday. We seemed to get along the whole day through. We goofed around and overall enjoyed each others company.