If there's one thing I hate more than love triangles and cliffhangers it's unrealistic expectations. Life isn't like the movies, the perfect guy isn't going to magically fall head over heels for you. The media loves to play the fairy tale card because guess what? We're all suckers. We fall for it every time. Our hearts melt and the tears fall as two people, who are so desperately meant for each other finally figure it out. But as we go about the mundane of the every day after living through the high of a fictional romance we realize it's happened again. We've fallen for the Hollywood ideal of the perfect guy, and just like clockwork we feel like Cinderella: post ballgown. The magic is gone and suddenly we're back where we started: Single and ordinary.
Being an avid TV viewer myself, I can't think of one series or movie or piece of literature that I've read or seen where the main character doesn't have a best friend.
Blair & Serena
Peyton & Brooke
Meredith & Cristina
That one person they'd call up if they killed someone and needed help hiding the body. That one person who they've been friends with forever and will always find their way back to. That one person who's been with them through every single high and every single low. Their person.
You see these friendships, with the good, the bad and the ugly thrown into the mix, and you watch as they continue to thrive. Because despite everything, the characters consistently show up for each other. But, when you take a step back, glancing from your own life to the lives of these fictional characters you don't see a similar reflection. The truth of the matter is: not everyone has a best friend.
Watching other people glorify their best friend through social media and even hanging out with best friends can be one of the loneliest feelings in the world. Having a singular human being that understands your quirks, your sense of humor and just. gets. you. The kind of friend who you don't have to explain anything to because they already know. The kind of friend who you can randomly text about anything and the conversation just flows. The kind of friend you don't go a day without having some sort of contact with.
Here's a thought: You don't need a person. All those TV shows and movies and articles you've read about best friends, you envy them. You want that, but you don't need it. Despite what the world tries to tell you, not everyone has that. Not everyone has one person that's attached at the hip. Not everyone has someone to confide in and act absurd with. Not everyone has that one person they click with immediately.
And guess what? There's nothing wrong with that. It is perfectly okay to have a solid group of friends, multiple people to turn to is better than none. It's easy to look at best friends portrayed through the media and be affected by thoughts of loneliness. But it's also just as easy to take a deep breath and be your own best friend.
The thing is, I think we feel pressured. Pressured to find the right guy or girl for ourselves, pressured to fit in, pressured to be surrounded by loved ones constantly. You have to get comfortable spending time on your own. You're stuck with yourself for life, so why not learn to befriend yourself? No one knows you better than you. Treat yourself the way no one else could, because you deserve it and because there is no better friend than the one you find within yourself.
Never forget the essence of your spark!
5/17/2016 08:44:27 pm
THANK YOU. This made me feel so much better about myself. I've been friends with the same group of 4 girls for 6 years now and they all calI each other "best friends" but I'm always kind of left apart... I'm their good friend but not BEST friend and it makes me feel horrible.
5/19/2016 09:05:04 am
Aw! I'm so glad I could help!
5/19/2016 09:04:19 am
Good gosh THANK you for writing my mind into a letter Maire.
7/24/2016 04:29:17 pm
you were my party scene mom in nutcracker 2010!!!!! im kerrys sister lol!!!!
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Stories have always been my safe haven. I hope my words can be the same for you.