From a Girl Who Doesn't Have a Best Friend

If there's one thing I hate more than love triangles and cliffhangers it's unrealistic expectations. Life isn't like the movies, the perfect guy isn't going to magically fall head over heels for you. The media loves to play the fairy tale card because guess what? We're all suckers. We fall for it every time. Our hearts melt and the tears fall as two people, who are so desperately meant for each other finally figure it out. But as we go about the mundane of the every day after living through the high of a fictional romance we realize it's happened again. We've fallen for the Hollywood ideal of the perfect guy, and just like clockwork we feel like Cinderella: post ballgown. The magic is gone and suddenly we're back where we started: Single and ordinary.

What we forget to consider, however, is that Hollywood isn't solely teasing us with a taste of the model boyfriend. No, they take it even further. Not only does our main character have the optimal relationship but the perfect sidekick as well.

​Growing up, every new person we come across is our best friend. It doesn't take long to attach our 5-year-old selves to another 5 year old that decided to share their pretzels with us. That's a true friend, am I right? Elementary school and middle school we go through various friendships and alternate who our title best friend is. There also seems to be a trend where we have multiple best friends, even though there is most definitely one singular person who stands out among the rest. It's a right of passage for a girl to have a best friend. We see it in the TV shows we watch, the movies we replay over and over and the books we lose ourselves in. We're not only cheering on the romantic relationships, but the platonic friendships are just as important.

Being an avid TV viewer myself, I can't think of one series or movie or piece of literature that I've read or seen where the main character doesn't have a best friend.

Blair & Serena
Peyton & Brooke
Meredith & Cristina

That one person they'd call up if they killed someone and needed help hiding the body.  That one person who they've been friends with forever and will always find their way back to.  That one person who's been with them through every single high and every single low. Their person.

You see these friendships, with the good, the bad and the ugly thrown into the mix, and you watch as they continue to thrive. Because despite everything, the characters consistently show up for each other. But, when you take a step back, glancing from your own life to the lives of these fictional characters you don't see a similar reflection.  The truth of the matter is: not everyone has a best friend.

​Watching other people glorify their best friend through social media and even hanging out with best friends can be one of the loneliest feelings in the world. Having a singular human being that understands your quirks, your sense of humor and just. gets. you. The kind of friend who you don't have to explain anything to because they already know. The kind of friend who you can randomly text about anything and the conversation just flows.  The kind of friend you don't go a day without having some sort of contact with.

Here's a thought: You don't need a person. All those TV shows and movies and articles you've read about best friends, you envy them. You want that, but you don't need it. Despite what the world tries to tell you, not everyone has that. Not everyone has one person that's attached at the hip. Not everyone has someone to confide in and act absurd with.  Not everyone has that one person they click with immediately. 

And guess what? There's nothing wrong with that.  It is perfectly okay to have a solid group of friends, multiple people to turn to is better than none.  It's easy to look at best friends portrayed through the media and be affected by thoughts of loneliness. But it's also just as easy to take a deep breath and be your own best friend.

 The thing is, I think we feel pressured. Pressured to find the right guy or girl for ourselves, pressured to fit in, pressured to be surrounded by loved ones constantly. You have to get comfortable spending time on your own. You're stuck with yourself for life, so why not learn to befriend yourself? No one knows you better than you. Treat yourself the way no one else could, because you deserve it and because there is no better friend than the one you find within yourself.


                                                    Never forget the essence of your spark!