Here's to 2015
2015 was one the most challenging, adventurous, life changing years I have ever experienced. It brought some great people into my life and it taught me that not everyone is meant to stay. I learned people aren’t always going to be there for you. You can’t depend on someone to lift you up every time you fall; you have to learn to stand on your own.
2015 reminded me that learning to be comfortable in my own skin is a process. Loving myself is something I have to work on every single day. There is no growth in self-shame. There is no improvement in self-criticism. Nothing will change if I look down on myself for how I look, feel or act.
2015 reminded me again and again and again that I am a caring person. I feel things deeply and passionately. I go to the moon and back for the people in my life who mean something to me. But it also taught me I can’t expect them to love like I love. My kind is a rare breed, there aren’t too many of us who put those around us before ourselves. That being said we can’t be down on ourselves for that. We can’t make who we are, which is loving creatures, into something undesirable. But we also can’t stretch ourselves thin. Do for others what you’d want done for you, but don’t forget to take care of you. Don’t forget how much you matter. Don’t forget that happiness belongs to you too.
2015 showed me that the best form of therapy is meeting a friend for dinner and having conversations about nothing and everything. It taught me that there is a time and a place for friendship to grow, sometimes it takes an insufferable class to realize a potential pal is there. It taught me that constant communication doesn’t determine friendship, but rather catching up like no time has passed is where genuine relationships lie. It taught me that friends willing and ready for spontaneous adventures of any sort are friends for life.
But it also taught me that friendship has the ability to break your heart and that losing a friend will hurt far more than any boy ever could. It taught me to realize my value in a relationship and if I felt I was receiving less than what I deserve, maybe it’s time to walk. It’s okay to rid yourself of toxicity. Let go of the things and people that keep you from feeling significant and worthy.
It taught me that traveling to cities I’ve never been to and meeting people I’ve never met is quite possibly the craziest yet most thrilling thing I’ve ever done. It taught me that sometimes people aren’t what you expect, and you can’t blame them for that. But then there are others who surprise you and make you feel so overwhelmingly loved that the idea of leaving makes you want to cry.
2015 taught me this: post grad life is hard. It’s incredibly difficult and scary and stressful and quite frankly not as exciting as graduation day. It taught me that the questions will never end, no matter what phase you are in life people always want to know: how you’re doing, what you’re doing and if you’re in a relationship.
It taught me that there will always be people who don’t understand. There will always be someone to give unwanted advice and laugh at your career choice. There will always be someone telling you you're doomed for failure…don’t let that person be you.
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Stories have always been my safe haven. I hope my words can be the same for you.