At 21 years old I've found that I've been through a lot. I've had my ups and I've had my downs, and through it all I've been taught a lot of lessons. Lessons that I realized myself or lessons passed onto me by the special people God has brought into my life. Since I started college I've improved academically, but I've also changed personally. I've become stronger, braver and more passionate. I've gained a little more experience and as a result a broader perspective. I've come into my own and I've become more aware of who I am and who I want to be. As a result, I have a deeper appreciation for myself and my values and the identified the toxicity that I desperately need to remove. I wanted to share a few things I've learned a long the way.
People come into and out of your life to teach you something.
One of the more challenging concepts to grasp as you mature is staying in touch with friends. Some people have a strong bond with their high school friends and their friendships last a lifetime, however that's not true for everyone. Don't be surprised if you notice the connection faltering. People grow up, they change, and sometimes they leave you behind. That doesn't mean you have to let them make you feel left behind. You may find yourself struggling to keep a friendship afloat and if they're not pulling their weight, is it really worth it? When I started my college career I went through a rough patch when it came to friends. I felt insignificant and forgotten. I had never had a steady group of people I could count on. I was always reaching out. I was always initiating plans, even in high school! So I realized the friends I thought I had weren't friends. They weren't making the effort, so why should I? It was hard to accept but I had to in order to allow myself to get on with my life. Anyone and everyone you come across as you go through your college years, and even after you graduate, will either stay or teach you a lesson. Some people stay longer than others and sometimes they eventually leave, but it doesn't mean it was a waste of your time. They've come into your life for a reason and whatever happens between you should be utilized as a way to help you grow and understand yourself as a person. You'll come to know what you deserve and the kind of person you are. You'll come to terms with the fact that you can't be friends with everyone and sometimes people won't care as much as you do. And guess what? That's okay. They weren't meant to be a part of your life, they were meant to make you a better person. People come and go, but eventually you'll find the ones worth all of that pain. You'll find the right ones at the right time and everything will fall into place. Hold out for that time, it's coming and it will be everything and more.
You always come first. It's not selfish, it's healthy.
At the end of the day who do you come home to? You. After everything is said and done you are left with you. Are you happy? If the answer's no then it's time you start doing things for yourself. I recently became aware of the fact that I don't do this enough. I push myself aside. I put others first and I let them take advantage of and walk all over me. If anyone's to blame for that it's me. I'm allowing it to happen and it's about time I put an end to it. It's about learning to let yourself live your life. As long as there are no dire consequences, what's holding you back? If the answer is you then get out of your way! You are solely responsible for you. The best and only thing you can do for other people is be there for them Don't sacrifice your own happiness. Stop standing on the sidelines and take center stage already. Cease those opportunities, bask in your potential glory. How will you know if you never try?
You can't depend on other people. Learn to make yourself feel better. Learn to make yourself happy.
People aren't always going to be there. It's sad and it hurts to accept, but it's true. People can't always be there. We all have things going on, we're all busy. It happens. You can't depend on other people to lift you up all the time. You can't expect it. You'll end up disappointed and feeling alone, when the truth of the matter is you're not. It's a false sense of loneliness. You convince yourself of things that couldn't be further from the truth because you only have yourself to confide in. Do not let yourself overthink: that is the biggest mistake of them all. Don't bring yourself down, life is hard enough as it is. You have to learn how to make yourself feel better because you are all you've got. You are so much more important than you think you are and you have to feed yourself positivity. The only way things will get better is if you make the conscious effort to be better. You have to fight the demons and the negativity inside your head. Addressing them is half the battle.
Your dreams are possible.
The most cliche of them all, but also the truest. If these past couple of years have taught me anything at all it's that everything I could ever want is just down the road. Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean it never will. Timing is everything. Things happen how and when they should and things fall into place when they're meant to. You can't rush things, you can't have expectations because the reality is so much sweeter than anything you could ever dream up. Whatever it is that you want, if it's meant to be it will happen. If it's something important to you then have patience. The universe has a way of making things happen and in the best way possible. You have to have faith that someday things will change.
Never forget the essence of your spark!